The key to finding peace while parenting an intuitive (and strong willed) child is to follow their lead. I have been following Malakai’s lead since my pregnancy. I absolutely loved being pregnant and it was the first time in a long time I was in tune with my mind, my body, my spirit and the mind, body, and spirit growing inside me.
Pregnancy increased my intuition – no surprise as I later realized my son is one of my guides incarnated. I was completely off my life path, and his arrival grounded me in a way I was not ready to explore, but following his lead, I dove in. I will write about a pain-free labor and delivery tomorrow… Yes, it is possible to give birth in a meditative state and have no-pain, without and meds or pain killers.
What do I mean by follow his lead? I mean quieting my mind, my agenda, my hopes, my plan, take a moment to breath and let go of all of that and be present with him to see how he guides me. When I do this, everything else falls into place and we thrive. Following his lead doesn’t mean not having a plan, or just allowing life to take hold of you. You can still take charge of your life while following his lead, in fact if you’re following his lead, you will be taking charge of your life in magical ways. Let me give some examples.
Almost daily I have an agenda of things I would like to get done – clean the car, go to this appointment, get us ready and dressed, cook, clean the house, workout, meals, nap time, park, with nursing sessions thrown in there, you feel me, the normal mom and son stuff that I want to just get done. But toddler timing does not always allow, so instead of being in resistance when he decides he wants to do something other than what I want at the moment, I give my agenda to the universe/God and trust all that is.
Malakai may reach for the sage stick, a deck of oracle cards, some crystals, or essential oils – I used to just grab it from him and put it back and this just turned into more of a fuss. So I decided to let him have it. Then in time I realized he was guiding me all along hahaha I laugh at this. Because still some days I forget he is guiding me, because I want to be the directive parent. So no when he goes for the cards, I stop and we do a reading together. You really only need to show him something once and he will remember. So the first time I showed him how to clear the energy (knock on the cards). So immediately now when he grabs a deck (he struggles to open it), he’ll knock on the cards, then he’ll touch them all and then he’l go for a reading – he’ll either hand me what is needed, shuffle and the ones needed will pop up…
This minor giving to him and following his lead at once teaches me, and many times he may only want something for a few seconds and then we are back on track.
I have also found that giving him a task can help to. So completely involving him in what I am doing and asking for his help with each step (Can you open the door for mama, can you put this here, can you screw on the top, or as I am putting on lotion, I ask to put it on himself, yes, he needs help, but encouraging him to do it on his own boosts his confidence in himself) – many times this works, sometimes he takes over and guides me.
I have also found that if I lift and praise him for literally every step, he develops his own self-recognition and when start to do it on his own without needing my direction and approval – for example, if I ask to put on his shirt, and then tell him he looks good, go look in the mirror, then he starts to put on the shirt himself and goes to check himself out in the mirror, giving me that extra few seconds to through on deodorant, grab my socks, or what have you. Encouraging him, teaching him, and following his lead has been key to my sanity and connection to source.
I am constantly reminding myself that he is more in tune with himself and God than I am, so I have much to learn from him. This statement alone allows me to see things differently from the normalized parenting books on development, child behavior, normative times schedules – all of which I used to follow and freak out about. And once I let that shit go and followed his lead, followed my heart, and allowed our intuition to work together, he soared – this kid is so advanced all the doctors, nurses, specialists ask me what I am doing, and my response is, nothing, I am simply allowing him to BE in this world with me.